a little about men, so all our lives as men we have been told, how to act, how to be, and what a real man is, quite frankly you are who you are, a little clique I know, and a little i don't know cringe to say out loud, but its true, if your upset, you are allowed to be upset you are allowed to be a little off, spoiler alert everyone is! but I'm not talking to everyone at this moment I'm talking to the guys out there, the guys who aren`t fully clear where they are going in the world, what the actual meaning of it all is, along my journey of finding this meaning of life, i found a few meanings, love, family , work, all of these both simple and complicated to find what it actually means.
As men we are told we have to provide for our family, pay the bills, don't complain, don't feel (conceal dont feel dont let them know 😂oh gotta love having kids and having frozen up there ready to throw out) just get on with it, be a man, and my personal favourite MAN UP! We as men have been made to feel like a cog in the never cycle of life, just a tool to be used and then thrown away when we are all used up, this has led to alot of men feeling worthless, with no meaning, no drive, nothing.
I believe men can be the best asset this world has to offer, we are driven, we have alot to offer as men, not taking anything from the ladies out there they have alot to offer too, but with men this ability of just getting on with it and the graft that was ingrained in our DNA, the willingness to always strive for perfection by any means necessary is what has made men what they are, but here is the problem, with society in the state it is in us men have been left with our old fashioned outdated views of the world for generations, i was taught by my dad who was taught by his dad, many of you reading this have passed it down to your sons and maybe they have passed it on to their sons, and so on, so this mentality of work work provide provide, has followed us and yes it is something to think about.
As a man myself i understand the difficulties men face on a daily basis and due to this always being something i was always passionate and probably always will be passionate about is to help men be men without all the issues it comes with, I think being a man was always more a job then a gender, as a man you have to be the chain link fence keeping everything together, which is great BUT as you have probably always heard a chain is only as strong as its weakest link, we will get to that, so lets list our strengths, as males we are dominant in our stride, strong in musculature, driven, and work more on facts and science than emotions, now with all these strengths and many more, what are our weakest links? now this.........this is something where alot of people will leave, but stay because we can work on making it a strength, our weakest link is, our emotions, no doubt we have mental toughness, we can take alot on our back before we break but we were never given the tools to either cope when it starts to get too much or given the tools to not break.
So lets do this, when we fall, we fall hard, because many many generations ago, life wasnt as heavy as it is now, with jobs drying up, things becoming more expensive, life wasn`t quite as easy as our fathers said it was, was it? "just work hard everything will work out" and we never asked the simple question "but what if it doesnt?" and due to us just living our lives by "just work harder everything will work out" its got us in a loop of job after job working our asses off just about getting by, it makes us feel like a failure when suddenly everything isnt like it should be and we were never given the tools if it didnt work out, the only tool we had was "work harder" now this does work out at some point but unfortunately we were last in the queue to get patience, so when we fail to see where we are leading we think we have failed at life, when that isnt true at all.
I think our fathers forgot to teach us one of the most important lessons i learnt from women, and that`s compassion, and emotional openness, the willingness to admit "hey i am having a bit of a rough time at the moment" and voicing how you actually feel, undervalued, underappreciated, underpaid, stressed, angry, sad, upset, depressed, nervous, worthless we have all been there, feeling this way just know you are not alone, many men feel this way, i know it may not feel this way sometimes, but you are NOT alone.
Dont get me wrong our fathers and fathers fathers and so on had the best intentions for us as men, they meant no harm in the way they taught us about life, i for one learnt alot from my dad and my grandfather, but there is just some things they can`t teach because they never had to deal with it, nowadays employers will drop you at the drop of a hat, for no reason other then money, its a horrible world to live in where nothing is certain and nothing is permanent, i guess life has always been that way but now more then ever it is clear, and with these things happening alot of men cant find work or cant keep a job, through maybe no fault of their own, cuts in staff are a natural progression of a company, it sounds a bit backwards but sometimes companies need to refresh the workforce to keep it moving forward.
lets start with dealing with these things, now i cant prepare you for every situation because i havent been through the same situation as you or anyone else but i can offer my journey as a different view, so that you know,again, you are not alone, how i dealt with my depression and anxiety was find things i could enjoy without the stress of life, personally i tried everything, puzzles, model building, and playing music, all worked, but the one thing that really helped me let everything go was the gym, i am by no means a professional male model or professional bodybuilder but i did dabble in powerlifting and bodybuilding recreationally, and i loved it, it gave me something to focus my effort on and grow both mentally and physically, there was something about resistance training that just really helped me take a load off, i guess being able to lift heavy weights and crushing my goals of lifting heavier gave me the push i needed to believe that as with life, it may be hard now but it does get easier.
Which brings me to my next point (yes there is a point somewhere) no matter what it may be that you find to get a little bit of an escape, do it, my dad does suduku puzzles, everyone has their way of escaping reality, just for a short time, just enough to gain back some composure.
There is a way out of this, i promise, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, when one door closes another door opens, whatever you may be feeling it WILL pass it WILL get better i know it may seem like a long way away from that happiness right now or it may feel like its hurdle after hurdle, but there is a finish line and there are ways to get out of the rut and be victorious, sometimes you have to crawl through the dirt and muddy puddles in order to get to the green green grass on the other side.
if there is anything that you need to load off i am always free to shoot an email to any time, I will always make time for the crew.
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